ESPRIT LIBRE // Quote Archive

Tess & Antonio [2005]

[Tess deletes a voicemail message Antonio left for Jessica]
Tess: Antonio, how can you be this pathetic? Talk about stalker. Oh, well. Another message Jessica won't get.

Tess: (to Antonio) You're hopeful, generous, and open. It's been a long time, but it seems like tonight, I don't know, the old Antonio is back, the man I fell in love with.
[Antonio leaves to answer a phone call...Tess mutters to herself]
Tess: "The old Antonio's back." Who cares? Because the old Jessica is nowhere in sight.

[After Antonio has left, Tess feels free to rant about him to herself]
Tess: I let you paw me every night, I'm taking care of your little brat, even your "Mami." Now I have to sit here and pretend to be interested in your charitable ideas? Don't think so, buddy. It is time that I have some fun, on your dime.
[Tess gets a piece of paper and writes a note to Antonio]
Tess: (writing) "Antonio, I had to go home. Love --" underline, underline, -- "Jess. XX, hug, hug."

Tess: Save me a glass of champagne.
Antonio: Right, I'll see you soon.
Tess: Okay. (she hangs up the phone) Not if I can help it.

Tess: Like I really want to go to some stupid wedding with Antonio all over me like some cheap suit.

Antonio: (getting "Jessica"/Tess a drink) Here you go. It's been a long day for you.
Tess: That's the way it goes sometimes.

["Jessica" -- really Tess -- seems stressed out after the wedding]
Antonio: (to Viki) I think catching that bouquet may have a put a little pressure on her. (to "Jessica"/Tess) Listen, honey, I don't ever want you to feel pushed into anything, especially when it comes to our relationship.
Tess: Thanks. Really, I don't know what I have done to deserve you.

[Tess is fed up with Antonio and the Buchanans hovering over her all the time...she escapes to her bedroom and rants to herself angrily]
Tess: "What's wrong? What's wrong, my perfect little princess? What's wrong?" Ugh. Oh. Then there's Antonio. "You know I always love you, Jessica. I love you so much. I want to suck the life right out of you!" Ugh, I can't take it anymore! I can't be around them anymore. Oh, I cannot keep this sweet Jessica act up anymore. I swear, I got to get out of here.

Tess: (to Ginger about Antonio) Just every time Jessica's with him, she just gets stronger, more sure of herself, and I keep on telling her what a loser he is, and she just won't listen. He's not going to be a problem for long, though. There's finishing first and there's losing, and I don't lose.

Ginger: What's your problem with Antonio, anyway? I mean, he seemed fine to me.
Tess: Yeah, yeah, great. He seems fine. He really turns on the charm. But you don't know him like I do, Ginger, okay? He's wrong for Jessica. He's completely wrong.

Antonio: Drive safely.
Tess: Drive like an old lady, you mean.

Tess: You know, I really should've taken Natalie up on that drink. Would you mind getting me another one?
Antonio: No, no. Vodka tonic? Yeah?
Tess: Yes, thank you.
[Antonio leaves and Tess mutters to herself]
Tess: Whatever. A free drink is a free drink.

Tess: I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop asking me that.
Antonio: Asking you what?
Tess: "Are you all right, Jessica?" "Is everything okay, Jessica?" "What's wrong, Jessica?"

Todd: Jessica's not the wimp you think she is.
Tess: Oh, please. Have you ever seen her with Antonio?

[Todd thinks that Tess is out to protect Jessica from Antonio]
Tess: You're right, I do like to push out whenever I think "Tonio" is getting too serious, which is pretty much all the time.

Tess: (to Ginger) Antonio is so controlling, it's ridiculous. You should see Jessica around him. Really, she wilts like a wet rag if he raises an eyebrow or flexes a muscle. It's pathetic.

Antonio: You're breaking up with me? Why?
Tess: (pretending to be Jessica) I just really think that it is the right thing for both of us.

Antonio: There's something definitely wrong here, and I deserve to know what it is.
Tess: The only thing that's wrong is us and the fact that you're not listening to me.

Antonio: Well, I'm not going anywhere, Jessica.
Tess: Great, then let me go.

Antonio: So this -- this personality -- Tess -- what do you know about her?
Jessica: Well, very little, except that she -- she hates you.

Tess: There is no way this kid is Antonio's.
Jessica: You don't know that.
Tess: Do the math. When is the last time that you and Latin boy did the horizontal mambo?

Tess: (about Jessica) How can somebody be nagging and boring at the same time? No wonder Jessica and Antonio love each other so much.

Tess: You keep on insisting that this is Antonio's baby when you and I know there's only the teensiest, tiniest chance that could possibly be true. You had sex with him once and you practice safe sex. As dumb as Antonio is, he can still figure out those odds. And let's just say that I do let you out and you scamper off to Antonio. Love you or not, what do you think his first question will be? It'll be, "Who's the daddy?"
Jessica: I'll tell him the truth -- he is.
Tess: And when he asks you, "How can you know that for sure?" You're going to need a better answer than, "I know it deep down in my heart." Face it, Pollyanna, we're both screwed.

Tess: (to Jessica) Okay, let's -- let's just say that this baby is Nash's. Do you really think that Senor Antonio is man enough to raise another guy's baby? I mean, last time I checked, he could barely keep custody of his own brat.

Tess: God, why can't you just leave me alone?
Antonio: I'm not going anywhere, not until I talk to Jessica.
Tess: Well, you have a long wait ahead of you.

Antonio: Jessica created you, and she will be cured. All you'll be is an aspect of her personality.
Tess: Yeah, well, this aspect has a name and it's Tess, and you better get used to calling me that, okay, pal, because the power struggle is over. Jessica's never coming back.

Antonio: You know, I'd love to talk to you. We barely know each other.
Tess: Well, I have got some major problems with you.
Antonio: But here we are.
Tess: Not for long, buddy.

[Tess steals a gun from a police officer and aims it at Antonio]
Tess: Okay. Okay, here's the deal. You let go of Nash or I shoot Antonio.

Antonio: I just want to say one thing. Do you mind?
Tess: What?
Antonio: You know I love Jessica. You know that.
Tess: Not what I want to hear right now, Antonio.

Tess: (to Nash) I will not be Antonio's little lap dog. He would stick a G.P.S. chip in Jessica's butt if that meant that he could keep tabs on her.

Antonio: (to the Buchanans about Tess) Well, she's right. She doesn't have to talk if she doesn't want to.
Tess: Am I supposed to be grateful now?
Antonio: No. No, I just thought that if you want to talk to Nash you should be able to.
Tess: Oh, well, thank you, Antonio. Thank you very much. I'm a real person, aren't I?

[Antonio agrees to let Tess call Nash]
Antonio: You know the number to the winery?
Tess: Well, yes, I do, Antonio. It is my house. It's 916-555-0139, and please be sure to dial 1 before you place your call.

Dr. Fox: Tess, you're not going to disappear.
Tess: No, I won't disappear, but I'll end up with him. (she gestures to Antonio) And you know what? That's worse.

Antonio: Maybe we should just bring Jess back.
Tess: What, you going to put me back in my room, big boy?

Antonio: Who do you think you are?
Tess: Somebody who's not going to be shoved around by you.

Antonio: I have an idea, and the only way it's going to work is if we're all willing to cooperate.
Tess: Please, hurry up and tell us. I know I can hardly wait.

Antonio: Come with me to our loft. I promise I'll have you back here before Nash's flight arrives. I have something I want to show you.
Tess: It's your loft, and I would rather drink drain opener than go anywhere with you.