[Natalie has brought Tess some salad]
Tess: That's sweet, but I'm really not hungry.
Natalie: Hi. I'm Natalie. I'm -- I'm Jessica's twin sister, the one
you said killed herself.
Tess: Wow. It's obvious which twin got the looks part of the deal.
Natalie: At least I'm real.
Tess: Ooh, I sense some hostility.
Natalie: Look, I know how this works, so don't try to pull anything
on me. I may feel sorry for Jessica --
Tess: Don't you dare feel sorry for me, thanks.
Natalie: You're just a fragment, another personality, and not a very
nice one. In fact, I don't know why we're all running around pretending like
you're not a spoiled brat and a dangerous person.
Tess: Wow, you've got a hell of a lot of nerve.
Natalie: Oh, don't act innocent. Last year, Jessica saw someone pull
the plug on Tico Santi, and then she conveniently had this blackout and she
blamed Antonio for it, swore she saw him do it, and then got him charged
for murder, and I know that blackout was you. And let's not forget that you
tried to kill my mother.
Tess: And I like to put my feet up on the furniture, too. Let's not
forget that.
Tess: You know, when people fantasize about their long-lost twin sister,
their new best friend, I don't know if they rarely think about a self-righteous,
stuck-up little --
Natalie: Watch it.
Tess: Do you want to fill in the blank?
Natalie: Lois said that you have not been eating. I'm going to tell
you right now that that's going to change. You are going to start taking
care of yourself and you are going to take care of my little niece or nephew,
and I mean it.
Tess: I take damn good care of this baby. And, Natalie, I know how
to take care of myself, thank you.
[Tess sees the newspaper article talking about Ginger Foley's death]
Tess: What the hell is this? Is this some kind of joke?
Natalie: What in the hell are you talking about?
Tess: What, did you get your rich friends at the paper to make this
up?
Natalie: Make what up?
Tess: Here. This story. The trial story -- it says that Ginger Foley
is dead!
Natalie: Did you know her?
Tess: No, I didn't "know" her. She was my best friend. My best friend!
My only friend.
Natalie: Look, I -- I'm sorry. I wouldn't have brought you the paper
if I had known.
Tess: Known what? That I care about somebody other than myself?
Tess: I clean up the messes for Jessica, okay? I have to be tough
enough to deal with the jerks that she lets into her life, jerks like Tico
Santi. But with Nash, I found out that I'm not just a tough girl. Not that
you care.
Natalie: Tough's cool. It works for me.
Tess: Yeah. It takes a real thick skin to survive hanging out in a
mansion.
Natalie: That man that you saw kill Tico Santi? That was my husband.
My husband who had no idea what he was doing, but went to prison anyway,
but then made me believe he was dead, and then guess what -- I fell in love
with the cop who put him there, who also didn't tell me that Cristian was
alive, and they both lied to me, so I told them both to shove it and I had
to start my life over again.
Tess: Wow. We really are twins.
Natalie: Look, you know what, if I hurt you, I'm sorry.
Tess: Natalie, don't sweat it. I wasn't trying to bond with you or
anything.
Natalie: There really is no getting through to you, is there?
Tess: You know, just stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours.
Natalie: Yeah, I just had some face time with Tess.
Antonio: Oh. Well, she can be pretty vicious sometimes. Just try and ignore
anything she says.
Natalie: Yeah, it's kind of hard to when she's right.
[Tess is trying on Natalie's wedding dress and fantasizing about her own
wedding]
Tess: "I, Tess, take you, Nash --" oh, my goodness.
Natalie: (coming in the room) What the hell are you doing in my wedding
dress?
Natalie: (about the wedding dress) Where did you get that?
Tess: Look, I didn't know it was yours. I found it upstairs in a box.
I just thought it'd be fun to take it for a spin. See? Yeah. It doesn't even
fit me anyway. I can't even get the zipper done up.
Natalie: God, you ripped it and you broke the zipper.
Tess: Why do you care about that stupid dress anyway? You divorced
the guy you married in it.
Natalie: You know what? You have no idea what you're talking about.
Tess: Really? Maybe not, but I sure do know fired-up when I see it.
Deny it all you want, you are on fire. You're still in love with that
ex-con.
Tess: You could afford to buy, like, 10 of those and not even put
a dent in your credit card.
Natalie: So what was it that I heard that happened here yesterday,
all that drama with your boyfriend, who apparently scammed some rich girl
out of all of her money and then drove her into the loony bin?
Tess: Yeah. Well, you know, at least he didn't pull the plug on some
guy in a coma, because that -- that really takes some courage.
Natalie: Your boyfriend is a hustler and now everyone knows it --
except apparently you, unless you're just too proud to admit it.
Tess: Jessica is the heiress here, okay, not me. Nash is not with
me for my money, okay? He took me in when he thought I had nothing, and I
stole from him. And he saw the good in me anyway.
Natalie: You really love that guy, don't you?
Tess: Yeah. So what?
Natalie: Now do you believe that I'm over Cristian?
Tess: (who hasn't even been paying attention to Natalie) What did
you say?
Natalie: I have to go out for a while. I just don't want to leave
you here by yourself.
Tess: Well, it's not like I can go anywhere. Your family has this
place surrounded.
Natalie: Great, so let's not even try, okay?
Tess: Okay, boss.
Natalie: I won't be long.
Tess: Don't hurry back on my account.
Natalie: You know, I should have known Tess was going to pull some
stunt like that.
Jessica: Why?
Natalie: I finally met her.
Jessica: Huh. A piece of work, isn't she?
Natalie: Well, she's got enough of you in her that she's not totally
awful, but I didn't like it so much when I caught her in my wedding dress.